Gosh, that last post was a tad whiny. Even for me.
One thing I want to record for diary purposes. I have my own place, my own space. Life is really, really good.
Who knows, one day I might even finish unpacking these boxes.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Ex-traordinary
So let me tell you about the latest Exism...
The Ex and I operated what is known as a 'romantic' marriage. This means all accounts were joint, all salaries were paid into the same place and so on.
Back in March, when all this kicked off, I started the process of opening a new bank account. I told my employer and arranged for my salary to be paid into it.
In the name of amicability, I let The Ex have my last salary cheque; complete with annual bonus.
Fast forward to July, and I'm booking tickets, hotels and conferences. Due to the byzantine purchasing nature of the company where I work, I expense all this stuff. This means paying for it on MY credit card and thinking no more of it. A bit of paper arrives from accounts saying "Paid" and I'm happy.
Until this month, when I'm suddenly spending lots of money on a new flat and furniture. And discover a £2500 hole in my finances. Yes, I know I should have been studying bank statements instead of partying in Barcelona...
It seems that while my salary was going to the new account, the accounts department were paying expenses into the old account. The Ex had noted the unusual payments.
Her quote:
"Oh, I thought it was some sort of bonus thing. I didn't see any point in mentioning it; you said I could keep it..."
For the first time I raised my voice. Just a little.
The Ex and I operated what is known as a 'romantic' marriage. This means all accounts were joint, all salaries were paid into the same place and so on.
Back in March, when all this kicked off, I started the process of opening a new bank account. I told my employer and arranged for my salary to be paid into it.
In the name of amicability, I let The Ex have my last salary cheque; complete with annual bonus.
Fast forward to July, and I'm booking tickets, hotels and conferences. Due to the byzantine purchasing nature of the company where I work, I expense all this stuff. This means paying for it on MY credit card and thinking no more of it. A bit of paper arrives from accounts saying "Paid" and I'm happy.
Until this month, when I'm suddenly spending lots of money on a new flat and furniture. And discover a £2500 hole in my finances. Yes, I know I should have been studying bank statements instead of partying in Barcelona...
It seems that while my salary was going to the new account, the accounts department were paying expenses into the old account. The Ex had noted the unusual payments.
Her quote:
"Oh, I thought it was some sort of bonus thing. I didn't see any point in mentioning it; you said I could keep it..."
For the first time I raised my voice. Just a little.
You Did What?
Were the words uttered by the osteopath (also called Samantha, equally lovely, but in a very happy relationship. So friends we stay.)
"I couldn't help it!" I stammered "I needed to move the washing machine..."
She merely pursed her lips, cracked her knuckles, and inflicted a suitable punishment. So I'm now walking in a marginally more pained fashion than before. I'm not sure its supposed to work this way.
On the plus side, the surgery is located in a place called "The Harmony Centre". Slightly odd, and painted an apparently soothing shade of lilac. I certainly felt soothed as I staggered down the stairs, pausing only to inflict a mild dose of concussion upon myself thanks to a thoughtfully placed sign saying "Mind Your Head"
I'll be back. Do I have an Ex story for you tonight, or do I have an Ex story for you tonight...
"I couldn't help it!" I stammered "I needed to move the washing machine..."
She merely pursed her lips, cracked her knuckles, and inflicted a suitable punishment. So I'm now walking in a marginally more pained fashion than before. I'm not sure its supposed to work this way.
On the plus side, the surgery is located in a place called "The Harmony Centre". Slightly odd, and painted an apparently soothing shade of lilac. I certainly felt soothed as I staggered down the stairs, pausing only to inflict a mild dose of concussion upon myself thanks to a thoughtfully placed sign saying "Mind Your Head"
I'll be back. Do I have an Ex story for you tonight, or do I have an Ex story for you tonight...
Monday, October 04, 2004
Multitasking
Its an oft-said myth that men can't multitask.
Oh, how untrue. Take tonight. I was enjoying a quiet drink with N, and my mind was doing the following things simultaneously:
* Wondering how the evening is going - she's laughing a lot, but I seem to be doing a lot of talking. Is this a good thing?
* Considering if tomorrow would be too soon to ask if she'd like to go out for dinner sometime
* Fighting the teenage urge that states "Girls are really impressed by guys who can down a pint of beer in one" - oh so wrong, but oh so driven into the subconscious
* Thinking "I can't believe I'm doing this"
All that, and there was still enough spare capacity to stop me drooling my drink down my chin.
The evening was somewhat tempered by me returning home and parking the car in the super-store carpark near my flat. A group of youths eyed it speculatively. I attempted to give them a stern "Hey, don't mess with me or my stuff" look, but I suspect I looked more like a stoke victim. Hey ho.
Oh, how untrue. Take tonight. I was enjoying a quiet drink with N, and my mind was doing the following things simultaneously:
* Wondering how the evening is going - she's laughing a lot, but I seem to be doing a lot of talking. Is this a good thing?
* Considering if tomorrow would be too soon to ask if she'd like to go out for dinner sometime
* Fighting the teenage urge that states "Girls are really impressed by guys who can down a pint of beer in one" - oh so wrong, but oh so driven into the subconscious
* Thinking "I can't believe I'm doing this"
All that, and there was still enough spare capacity to stop me drooling my drink down my chin.
The evening was somewhat tempered by me returning home and parking the car in the super-store carpark near my flat. A group of youths eyed it speculatively. I attempted to give them a stern "Hey, don't mess with me or my stuff" look, but I suspect I looked more like a stoke victim. Hey ho.
Breaking Rules
Ok, tonight I'm going to break a personal rule. This is "Thou Shalt Not Date Thy Work Colleagues"
Let me explain. Today I'd screwed up the courage to ask the receptionist out. Since she's a Temp, a date would be bending rather than breaking the rule.
So I took a risk, a gamble, and asked N (a fellow member of the permanent army of proles) out for a drink. N fits into the category of women that my anti-cheerleader persona flags as "Out of your league, Newly. Don't even think about it."
N said yes. And so I find myself going to enjoy the company this evening of a woman who is smarter than me, very attractive and possessed of a glorious French accent.
I guess my selection of jokes regarding bodily functions is going to be inappropriate. As is my tediously encyclopaediac knowledge of the last 50 years of space exploration.
We've both come out of long term relationships in the last 6 months. I guess that would be a start. If not, then there's always fart jokes.
Let me explain. Today I'd screwed up the courage to ask the receptionist out. Since she's a Temp, a date would be bending rather than breaking the rule.
So I took a risk, a gamble, and asked N (a fellow member of the permanent army of proles) out for a drink. N fits into the category of women that my anti-cheerleader persona flags as "Out of your league, Newly. Don't even think about it."
N said yes. And so I find myself going to enjoy the company this evening of a woman who is smarter than me, very attractive and possessed of a glorious French accent.
I guess my selection of jokes regarding bodily functions is going to be inappropriate. As is my tediously encyclopaediac knowledge of the last 50 years of space exploration.
We've both come out of long term relationships in the last 6 months. I guess that would be a start. If not, then there's always fart jokes.
Oops, I Did It Again
Sadly nothing Britney related. I attempted to lift an old washing machine (in order to replace it with the shiny new washer-drier thing) without realising that the charming wooden floor had been built over the feet of the hateful thing.
One big heeeeeeave, and there was a distressing, deposit-losing crack from the floor and a quieter, but equally significant 'ping' from my back.
"Oh dear, I shouldn't have done that" was all I had time to think before the world went sideways and sparkly.
Suffice to say "I am in". There are few things as nice as unpacking one's books; opening a box that was sealed 6 months ago. You get that wonderful old paper smell and then its like re-making an acquaintance with an old friend:
"Why, Mr Hawks! Its been a while, hasn't it? A cheeky little read? Well, I'm awfully busy... but... if you insist..."
...time to raid the furniture shop again for more impressively cheap and tacky bookcases; I've filled up three of the things already.
One big heeeeeeave, and there was a distressing, deposit-losing crack from the floor and a quieter, but equally significant 'ping' from my back.
"Oh dear, I shouldn't have done that" was all I had time to think before the world went sideways and sparkly.
Suffice to say "I am in". There are few things as nice as unpacking one's books; opening a box that was sealed 6 months ago. You get that wonderful old paper smell and then its like re-making an acquaintance with an old friend:
"Why, Mr Hawks! Its been a while, hasn't it? A cheeky little read? Well, I'm awfully busy... but... if you insist..."
...time to raid the furniture shop again for more impressively cheap and tacky bookcases; I've filled up three of the things already.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Oh, The Tragedy Of It All
It would appear that the lovely Samantha is happily married. So any tentative asking-out-for-a-coffee on the part of Newly would be a tad hypocritical.
Tragic. Particularly since I was using this as an excuse to wimp out on asking The Receptionist out for a date.
Last word on the gym; this morning was weights. Everything was set to "Maximum Wuss" and away I went.
Set 1 - hah! I was laughing! Charles Atlas? Pah, a mere weakling.
Set 2 - I AM GOD. See those weights raise and lower as though powered by a mighty machine. Although that machine is starting to get a bit sweaty...
Set 3 - Ok, who upped all the weights while I wasn't looking? The number is the same, but its feeling a lot heavier now, and I'm sure my arms shouldn't be vibrating like that...
So I'm now at work and radiating smugness. My mood is such that the chaps think I've taken some illegal substances on the way in. Its like everything has just clicked into place, and life is good. Know what I mean?
Probably means I'm due to get squashed by a 30 ton truck on my way home, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
Tragic. Particularly since I was using this as an excuse to wimp out on asking The Receptionist out for a date.
Last word on the gym; this morning was weights. Everything was set to "Maximum Wuss" and away I went.
Set 1 - hah! I was laughing! Charles Atlas? Pah, a mere weakling.
Set 2 - I AM GOD. See those weights raise and lower as though powered by a mighty machine. Although that machine is starting to get a bit sweaty...
Set 3 - Ok, who upped all the weights while I wasn't looking? The number is the same, but its feeling a lot heavier now, and I'm sure my arms shouldn't be vibrating like that...
So I'm now at work and radiating smugness. My mood is such that the chaps think I've taken some illegal substances on the way in. Its like everything has just clicked into place, and life is good. Know what I mean?
Probably means I'm due to get squashed by a 30 ton truck on my way home, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
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