I met the world's unluckiest squirrel today. It dropped out of a tree as I was bowling through the country lanes to my workplace.
Unlike most of the creatures unfortunate enough to stray onto the same road as the The Black Golf Of Rodent Extermination, this one didn't make it to the tarmac.
No, it smacked into my windscreen and hung there for a while. Spreadeagled, with a surprised expression that mirrored my own before rattling over the roof and bouncing down the road behind me.
And before anyone says "Aw, but its a cute ickle squirrel - you're so cruel" - they are RATS WITH FLUFFY TAILS.
And lets face it, a squirrel that falls out of a tree is ripe for unnatural selection anyway...
