I blinked again at the toilet roll dispenser: "Volkswagen Warranties. Please take one."
Then I woke up.
Yes my friends, I have yet again been bitten by a car warranty that is worth less than the piece of paper its written on.
The first time was with my Mini Cooper (the old shape, not the flabby-arsed bulbous vulgarity that BMW have foisted upon the world) - 3 years after purchase it began to rust tragically. This was apparently not covered by the corrosion warranty since there were no actual holes. The second time was with a Fiat Punto. This time the clutch failed in the first year and again the warranty was void since Fiat consider such a minor part of the transmission to be a consumable. Third was courtesy of Suzuki and a cracked manifold - another consumable it seemes.
So when the "I'm broken - take me to a garage" light came on, I got a now all-too-familiar sinking feeling.
The bored sounding female voice on the phone said "No, its not covered. Your car needs a software upgrade - the warranty excludes that sort of thing. If there's still a fault after we've done the upgrade, then the mechanic will investigate further."
And with that, I was stung for the best part of £100 for the labour involved in plugging a laptop into my car and uploading software. The fault light went off.
Do I feel a little conned? Just everso slightly.
In case anyone feels the urge to buy a nearly new Volkswagen Golf, remember that VW's warranty is worth marginally less than a promise from Tony Blair not to introduce tuition fees and that Sidlow Volkswagen of Horsham are perhaps the least trustworthy and most unhelpful car dealership I've ever had the pleasure of using.
Thank you for your attention.
