Breakfast today:

Tesco Melon Medley ("Refreshing Sweet Pieces")
Tesco Fresh Fruit Salad ("Sweet Ripe Moist")
Diet Coke with Lemon

Debauchery score (out of 10) : -3

I can see I'm going to have to try a little harder at this hedonism thing. Although that description on the fruit salad pack did leave me feeling faintly queasy.