Did I mention that I also managed to bend one of the needles in the spasm? Evidentally the 'surface musculature' of my lower body is impressive. I'd have tried to turn that into some sort of innuendo, but thankfully good sense prevailed - Austin Powers-style humour is never a good idea when someone is prodding sharpened silverware into one's skin. The physio offered the twisted pin as a souvenir. I declined.
Thankfully there were no ill effects today, aside from a general ache (which may be caused more by how much alcohol I consumed coupled with prescription medication to dull the pain of last night rather than badly aimed needles.)
The 'mutual friend' has struck again as well. As advised, I'd been avoiding this individual after their last little stirring of the pot. This time they bumped into me in the street. I toyed with the idea of sticking my fingers in my ears and saying "La la la I can't hear you" or simply feigning death, but curiousity got the better of me. Apparently either The Ex or The Boyfriend has decided to give up work.
What does this mean for me?
I'm told a letter from their lawyer is on its way demanding additional maintenance or suggesting they withold their 'end' of the bargain since their income has been halved. If true, then there'll be more legal unpleasantness (which I'll win, after providing my lawyer with a Porsche to go with the Ferrari he's already had out of this. Everyone needs a weekend car, don't you think?) But its just more aggravation.
On the plus side, the mutual friend is unlikely to speak to me again - I may have been a little, ah, terse and suggested they were not being entirely... helpful.
Maybe I should combine all of the career options discussed earlier and drive to Costa Rica in a VW Camper to open a bar and write a weekly column in The Guardian describing my exploits.
