Oh how we deceive others and ourselves.

Met the in-laws for what is possibly the last time as 'son in-law' tonight. Ostensibly to show the amicability with which this is proceeding.

External: "Yes, of course we'll all still be friends. After all, we have a 15 year history."

Internal: "I never have to speak to you EVER AGAIN. Can I get a Hell Yeah? Oh, and you smell of cabbage."

This christmas will I be:

a) Sitting at a table, wearing a paper hat, and pushing dried-up turkey around a plate with all the enthusiasm of a person about to undergo colonic irrigation (which, considering the consequences of consuming the food on offer, is not far from the truth)

or

b) Drinking champagne while skiing down some sparkling alpine slope

Answers on a postcard to:

"I bet the answer won't be A" competition
NewlySingle72@hotmail.com
Somewhere in the UK