It seems that lists are somewhat of a requirement for on-line journals, so here we have the top 5 things to do with Staff:

5) Call them 'Jeeves' until they hit you with a frying pan

4) Try and do that scene from Arthur where Dudley Moore is in the bath and discover that it really isn't very funny after all

3) Ask them for the location of the Batcave and steal the keys for the Batmobile

2) This (Parental advisory - highly childish and immature humour)

and the number one thing to do with Staff...?

1) Set them free, and then don a red jacket, blow a silly trumpet and pursue them on horseback.