Question from first-born this morning:

"How does a baby get into a woman's tummy?"

Now, I've been preparing for this question for some time. I have read books, sought advice and generally rehearsed The Talk.

However, I also saw this as an opportunity to extract a small amount of vengance while still remaining Captain Amicable and so replied in the manner of so many men over the centuries:

"Ask your mother."

I've no doubt the speech will be still be required when first-born returns with tales of storks, birds, bees and turkey basters.