Friday, April 15, 2005

When Videos Attack

What the heck is it about people with camcorders? Why do they feel the need to record every little thing?

Do they take the damn things into the bathroom with them?

Example - while watching the Disney Parade, there was a forest of hands holding little silvery devices above the heads of fellow spectators. Why? Seriously, does anyone really and truly plan to go home and say "Hey, would you like to watch a badly filmed rendition of a bunch of glum French people pretending to be American? The sound's pretty crap too."

Actually, now I think about it, I've been around people's houses when this has happened and found my self subjected to an excrutiating two hours of someone's wobbly footage of the Grand Canyon ("Yeah, it was a bit foggy, but look - you can just about make out the big hole in the ground")

God help us now that DVD authoring is becoming available to the masses.

If you're going to use a camcorder, use it to record the reaction of loved ones to the parade. I have footage (taken on the digital camera) of First-Born looking at the Small World ride with absolute wonder. Whenever I'm feeling a little jaded, playing it helps to strip away some of my world-weary cynicism. You can't help but smile at a small child trying to conduct the music of a thousand singing dolls.

The other use for a camcorder is amateur porn. Just for the comedy moment when you realise you lent the wrong video cassette to your great-aunt.