I love one-sided conversations.
The office Trainee was using a speakerphone in his office. The other side of the conversation was somewhat indistinct, but his voice came through the walls loud and clear:
"Hello, is that...?"
"Warble farble"
"Oh good. Erm. I think I might be in a spot of bother..."
"Farble?"
"Yes. I didn't have one - my priest says they're a sin"
"Farble? Warble farble?"
"Well, I just put it in. That was all. I didn't - you know - or anything"
"Warble, warble."
"Oh really? Oh dear. When shall I come in?"
"Farble... farble warble?"
"I'll see you then..."
Like me, you're probably wondering if there was an entirely innocent explanation for that telephone call. Perhaps he was talking about chocolate, or microwave meals.
I'm afraid not. Our 19 year-old trainee (who is a member of a particularly cultish religious organisation) had had his first sexual experience and called the STD clinic in a panic, firstly because he had failed to use any sort of preventative measures ('they're a sin') and secondly because he wanted to check that because he'd failed to ejaculate, did that mean it didn't count and that his virginity was still intact?
Where was this man when Bill Clinton needed him?
