One thing I've noticed in the last few months is that consumption of alcohol tends to introduce short circuits into my brain, where I'll say exactly what I'm thinking, that remain for a good 24 hours after I've sobered up.
For example: yesterday I was looking at the new bar-food menu at the after-work pub used by me and my colleagues. Where once there was "Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Veggie-burger" there is a no a huge variety. A conversation with the barman ensued:
Me: "This 'Australian Burger' - what has it got to do with Australia? Its just chicken and bacon; is that a noted national dish?"
He: "Er..."
Me: "And the 'American Burger' - from what I can tell the only difference between this and a cheese burger is that this has deep fried onion rings in it. Onion rings are surely an international delicacy, why should they be associated with one particular country?"
He: "Look, do you want to order or not?"
Me: (sensing that if I carry on, this man will spit in my food) "Yeah. I'll go for the Indian Burger. With Naan."
The menu had actually said "The Indian Burger - Full Of Eastern Promise". If my experience with eating at that establishment was anything to go by then the only guaranteed promise of that burger would be the urgent need to spend some quality time in the bathroom, gripping the toilet seat with both hands.
Since every person I know who has been to India has said the same thing:
(dreamily): "Oh, it was a wonderful place, such culture, such sights, such smells, such sounds..."
"Uh huh. And for how long were you ill?"
"...er, just the first week. Maybe two."
...the Indian Burger is surely the most representative of the bunch.
