"I suppose it would be ok if you got a girlfriend," said First-Born, her arms crossed, "But she couldn't come around while I'm here"
It was an appropo of nothing. Clearly the wheels had been turning while Sponge Bob Square Pants and his strange pink friend had been dispensing humour targetted at children and adults alike.
"Why's that?" I asked, "Wouldn't you want to meet her?"
"Oh yes," she replied, "But there'd be nowhere for me to sleep. She'd obviously need to stay in my bed."
I laughed, "Oh I don't think that would happen..."
She paused the film and turned to me: "What do you mean?"
Shit.
I had one of my Hollywood moments where a camera pans away from a close-up on my face and reveals me to be standing on the edge of a precipice, about to plummet headlong into a conversation that could potentially lead to The Birds And Bees talk.
My subconscious threw me a line.
"She could sleep on the inflatable bed if there was nowhere else" It wasn't a total lie, and I couldn't feel the usual burning of my cheeks as I said it.
"Oh yes," said First-Born, losing interest and pressing play on the remote, "I'd forgotten about that. Its a shame you can't get inflatable girlfriends. That would make life much easier."
I nearly choked on my pasta.
