The perfectly lovely Tamara wrote this recently, which struck me as an excellent way of ruining someone's day.
I used it just yesterday. The stewardess was handing out beverages and snacks. A passenger in front wanted a gin and slimline tonic.
"I'm sorry, sir, we only have normal tonic. Will that be ok?"
"Of course it isn't f**king ok. If I'd wanted 'normal' tonic, I'd have f**king asked for it"
"I'm sorry sir, can I offer you anything else?"
And so it went on. All through the drinks trolley. Nothing was ok, and the abuse kept flying. To her credit, the stewardess just took it (she probably planned to have the police waiting at the airport to help the chap have a little 'accident' while walking down the steps.)
As we left the aircraft I noted the book he was reading. It was a mystery thriller; I'd read it myself a few months ago.
"Good book" I said, gesturing.
"Yeah" he grunted.
"The author's great. Keeps you guessing until the end."
"Yeah"
"I mean, I had no idea the killer was David and the Peter was actually Sue's brother."
And with that, I was gone.
