I was manipulated by the osteopath today. She's pretty, funny and a wicked flirt. She also has lived happily with her partner for the last 10 years or so (I checked.)
The chatting and flirting is designed to put one at one's ease so when the inevitable (crack) comes, you're relaxed and don't have time to go rigid with apprehension.
The good news today was the improvement in my back. The disk appears to be sorting itself out and while I'll still need surgery (because it'll just keep recurring) I may well be able to strap on some skis and do some falling over in the white stuff, so long as I look after myself for the next couple of months. This has unforseen consequences:
She: "So where are you off to this weekend?"
Me: "Oh, Amsterdam"
She: "Really? Are you meeting anyone?"
Me: (sheepishly) "Maybe"
She: "Oh, er, well, be careful of your back"
Me: (laughs) "Don't worry, I'm not going to carry anyone over the threshold..."
She: "Er, no. Thats not what I mean. You need to watch out for, uh, excessive pelvic movement..."
Me: (the English have a problem talking about this sort of thing) !
She: "You know..." (and proceeds to do a passable impression of Tom Jones)
Me: "Er, ok. So, er, what *can* I do?"
She: (gaining confidence now that the ice has been broken) "Well, having your ladyfriend straddling you is perhaps best, although a little one-sided - hahah"
Me: (faintly) "Haha"
She: "Or if the two of you lie on your sides and 'spoon' - you know what that means, yes? Good - that will be a good support for your spine and allow more participation. Now... relax..." (crack)
Now, I'm all for openness in all things, and a lot of society's taboos are plain dumb. But I could really have done without that conversation with a pretty woman while I'm down to my underwear.
