The dating game has been a little slow of late. Moving town hasn't helped; being near the family has been great (getting my father to do my shopping because I'm not supposed to carry stuff about has been strangely satisfying) but I knew that a semi-permanent move, coupled with the inability to drive a car would end some relationships that I was rather enjoying.
So be it.
I did, however, finally screw up the courage to ask The Receptionist out. Well, almost. Things never go to plan, do they?
The first problem was that I didn't know her name. Yes, I *know* I could simply have asked around but oh no. The Ego knew better. Which is how we come to The Worst Line In History.
Me: (strolling in after a restrained lunch; a vodka and soda rather than the usual 2 or 3 pints of beer - I had to meet some auditors and I don't think breathing the fumes of depravity over them goes down well in a Good Manufacturing Practice audit) "Hi!"
She: "Oh, hi there Newly. Are you back to work?"
(Curse of senior management - everyone knows who you are; you get pointed out like an exhibit in the zoo. Parents take small children and point: "If you're bad, then *that's* what you'll grow up into")
Me: "Yeah, I think so, so long as I stay away from the bacon sandwiches in the canteen. Haha"
She: (smiles)
(The whole bacon sandwich thing is a long running joke in the office. Eat anything from the canteen and you can guarantee that within 30 minutes you'll be gripping the toilet seat with both hands, feeling like you're turning inside out. I particularly enjoy getting the canteen to do the catering during an audit and then running my own little sweepstake on who has to leave the table first following lunch)
Me: (struggling now, fighting the nervous stammer) "So, er, I've realised that I come in here every day and say hi and I don't even know your name..."
She: "Oh, well I'm xxxx"
Me: "Nice to meet you then, hey listen - would you like-"
At that moment a colleague appeared: "Hey, Newly, they're looking for you in the audit. Oh... (snigger)... am I interrupting something?"
Bastard.
