Last night was another First-Born night. It was a good evening. We did her math homework for the week together and wrote some christmas cards. We then ate cake on the sofa and watched Shrek before it was time for stories and bed.
I miss doing stuff like that.
So, all told, a good evening. Except...
...she said a few things that have left me troubled:
"Mummy cries all the time. Last week she cried because she'd drunk too much wine and couldn't see the road when she was driving us home. Then she cried last night because she couldn't change the light bulb in my room..." and so it went on.
The question I have to ask myself is this: how much of it is true and how much is exaggeration aimed at playing one parent off against the other? Since First-Born sees me 2 or 3 times a week, I believe that I represent a novelty while The Ex is a figure of day-to-day resentment (I gather from The Ex that everything is a battleground, from getting dressed to doing homework. Not so when she's staying with me. Apparently the last words she said to The Ex before I picked her up were "You upset me with everything you do")
Not for the first time I pondered sole custody. The legal system in England is a little stacked against the father in this regard (I understand the motives of the individuals who dress as Spiderman and scale Buckingham Palace in order to make a point, but their methods leave me somewhat incredulous) and so it needs careful thought.
And this, of course, is one of the reasons for this journal. I started it to document the divorce process, record adventures and track the actions of The Ex in the event I ever need to produce a list of dates and events. I didn't think I'd have to use it. Now I'm not so sure.
