"Lets raise a glass," I said in a voice clear and sincere enough to embarrass anyone close enough to hear, "To The Ex and her new husband, The Boyfriend"
Some more wine sloshed into the glass
"To their future happiness together" I gulped down the acidic liquid. I was a day early, but didn't know what the 16th was going to hold. I was also entirely alone, with only the faint hum of the refridgerator for company.
I had a Realisation last night. This was that not only was last March the end of a 14 year relationship, it also marked the end of my ability to do my job. Something broke and I simply can't fix it, and it isn't improving with time.
I tipped the rest of the bottle down the sink, penned an email to the boss and went to bed to lie awake and look for meaning in the shadows on the ceiling.
The email was a request for a lunchtime pub meeting - something that will have flagged that I have Big Things I want to talk about. The way I see it, there are 3 options. Option 1 - I quit; taking sick-leave just isn't my style. Option 2 - I do something different; thing is, I've been doing this for 15 years - I'm not sure I *can* do anything different. Option 3 - carry on as I am, which isn't really an option.
So by this afternoon I should have closure in a variety of ways - The Ex will be forever someone else's problem and I'll have finally confessed to the boss (who is a close friend) something that I've known for the last 10 months but have been successfully concealing. I suspect he already knows.
Oh, and the meaning of the shadows on the ceiling? That I need new curtains for the window.
