We British are a nation of animal lovers. If its fluffy and adorable we take it to our collective hearts. If its human, hungry and has endured a journey of unimaginable torment, then we generally stick it into a camp and send it back where it came from. But thats a rant for another day.
Today's rant is about animals. Or, to be more precise, animal rights extremists.
I work in the medical field. I wrote some software that helps doctors run clinical trials of new treatments on humans. Its a simple thing; the doctor calls the system up, the system tells the doctor what kit to give the patient, and the patient is treated. Often its only the system that knows what the patient was actually given; be it the wonder-drug, the placebo, or maybe brand x. 5 years later the drug appears in the market and some people get a few more years of quality life.
As I've said before, its a rewarding job. Having worked in finance for years, doing something that actually helps people is immensely satisfying (any new career path for me is probably going to involve nursing or similar.) Sure, the big pharma companies get richer, but thanks to software like mine playing its small part in a much longer chain, new treatments become publically available faster and the quality of patients' lives are improved. Which is good, right?
It would appear not. You see, in offering a human trial and distribution service to pharma companies, my little world has attracted the attention of animal rights extremists. This is because somewhere much, much further up the chain, experimental drugs will have been tested on animals. The thinking is that any link in this chain can then be the subject of direct action.
And so, with a little bit of googling and even less imagination (and these people aren't short of imagination) I'm told you can find my name and address on a very long 'hit list' of legitimate targets. A scarier rumour is that you can even find FB's name, and the school she goes to. In response, my company wants me to go on a 'confrontation management' course.
Now, I'm all for peaceful protests. And if someone is misguided enough to pitch up outside the house of an anonymous software programmer and wave a few placards, well, I could use the noteriety. But the words 'direct action' haunt me.
And, of course, it won't work. If you really want to end the use of animal testing in drug trials (note, I'm only talking therapeutic drugs here - testing of cosmetics or seeing how many burgers a rabbit can eat before exploding for the sake of it is something entirely different) then here are the things you need to do:
1. Write to your government representative (don't email, write a letter) once a week.
2. If you have the time, organise peaceful protests outside the offices of law-makers. If you have that much time on your hands, you should probably also think about getting a job.
3. Get the public on your side. Present reasoned arguements backed up with realistic alternatives. Get a decent haircut. Lose the beard.
4. Try and avoid using any medication that has been through animal testing since doing so would be immensely hypocritical. Publicise this. Try and avoid injuring yourself, developing heart disease or cancer for the rest of your life.
5. Don't set fire to the homes of people whose biggest crime was supplying paperclips to Pfizer.
Rant over. Being told one is on a 'list' for reasons the logic of which is stretched so taut it screams tends to test one's tolerance somewhat. Check back later for Things I've Learned Not To Do On A Date.
