I looked out of the window with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Going home tomorrow was looking unlikely.
Through the swirling snow I could make out the highway and a line of stationary traffic. And the weather was only going to get worse. I knew this because a woman on the television had told me so in between buttock clenchingly awful local adverts and info-mercials paid for by ambulance-chasing lawyers.
I had initially doubted the word of an individual who believed that daubing oneself in orange paint gave an accurate impression of a sun tan, but it appeared my misgivings were unfounded. The weather had, indeed, turned to crap.
I sighed. My only sport for the day (aside from meetings) had been tormenting a person called Mike. He'd evidentally given a firm of compensation lawyers the number of my Blackberry (probably not intentionally) and after a few calls where I'd assured them that I was not Mike and they had the wrong number, I gave up and decided to let my newly discovered evil nature take the reigns for a while.
Mike, I'm really sorry. Particularly the whole thing about the monkeys. But at least the lady on the other end of the line laughed when she said "I've never heard anyone sustain an injury *that* way..."
You could be in there, mate.
EDIT: They just phoned again!!!
"Hi, this is Darren of Ambulance Chasers Direct. Am I speaking to Mike?"
"This is he"
"Ha ha, good. We've had a bit of a problem with wrong numbers."
"Yes?"
"Well, it all seems ok now. We've got some rather good news for you..."
"Really? I don't know. I think I want to withdraw my claim"
"What?"
"Yes, I've realised that I need to take responsibility for my actions. If I'd been looking where I was walking I wouldn't have tripped on that kerb. I don't see why the taxpayer should pay for my clumsiness, do you?"
"Er..."
"So please cancel my claim. I'll put it in writing tomorrow."
"But..."
"Oh. And you do realise you're talking to the Monkey Man, don't you?"
"Fuck" (click)
I wonder if Scott and Amundsen got up to such japes when they were snowed-in and getting bored.
