No, thats not the title of a competition.
I've been declared an evil bastard by the collective here in the office. All because of an email. One of the guys is about to become a father and has been looking forward to having a great first christmas with the new child.
My response?
"No you won't.
The kid will be screaming, sundry family members won't be talking to each other, others will be sulking because *they* wanted to have the first the christmas day with the new grandchild but didn't want to make a fuss, you'll spend the whole time driving and so won't be drinking, and even if you aren't driving, you still won't be drinking because you'll be a responsible parent, the James Bond film will be replaced by endless Teletubby videos and you'll be apologising for the sick your kid has just deposited on someone's best sofa about which they say "that's ok" through gritted teeth that you know means they're deeply pissed off, you'll be enduring advice from family members with and without children about the best way of bringing the sprog up and how their kid was an angel at christmas and able to write PI to 133 decimal places before they passed their first turd, and you'll pick up the phone to your old mate Newly and beg the loan of the spare room for the entire festive period.
And you guys wondered why I always worked over christmas..."
A reality check too far do you think?
