Another conversation with The Godfather:

He: "Look, you have this plan to lead a life of debauchery and the like next year?"

Me: "Yep, that would be the thing"

He: "Well, there is one major blocker for all straight men seeking that particular goal..."

Me: "Which is?"

He: "Straight women, of course. Join the scene, and that particular obstacle will no longer be a problem"

Me: "Er... I was sort of under the impression that homosexuality was a 'you are', 'you aren't' or 'you swing either way' thing, rather than a lifestyle choice"

He: "This is certainly true. But there are other ways to make a man 'turn'"

Me: "Such as?"

He: "I find 6 pints of beer and a few shots of tequila generally do the trick. Another drink?"

Me: "Nooooo... I'll just have water please"

I'm 99 percent sure he was joking. Really.