Today is Friday. This is my favourite day of the week. Work is winding down for the weekend. Tomorrow I get a day with first-born and tonight I'm going to be entertained by somebody who is professionally amusing rather than accidentally so.

Like The Boyfriend.

I had a strange telephone call last night from the ex. It went like this:

She: "Do you know where the chuck is?"

Me: "The what?"

She: "The chuck - the key for the drill"

Me: "Oh, right - its attached to drill itself. Stuck onto the power cable."

She: "Thanks..."

Me: (knowing that the ex has never wielded a power tool in her life) "Er, so, what sort of do-it-yourself are you planning?"

She: "Oh no, not me. xxx (The Boyfriend) is going to put up some shelves"

Me: (long silence) "Oh, ok then. I'll be round on Saturday for first-born"

Now, I'm not a vindictive person. Really, I'm not. But the thought of The Boyfriend drilling holes in the wall to mount shelves had me laughing out loud.

You see, the chap is partially sighted to the point of blindness. He has a white stick. And while this has not prevented him from being more successful at a professional level than most people I know, I really think a Bosch Hammer drill (or Deborah, as I like to call her) might be his undoing.

I shall report on the results tomorrow.

(I made up the bit about the drill's name. If I was to name it, then "Device That Smells Distressingly Of Burning Insulation" would be a more appropriate one. Or possibly "Talulah")