As well as the sage advice in these pages on how to handle a marriage breakdown (namely, be as amicable as possible right up until the papers get signed) may I also offer some more advice on looking after other people's pets?

Don't.

I live in constant fear that this cat is going to die on me. The continuous puking appears to have stopped. But now its developed a pronounced limp. And what is that odd lump above its leg? Was it there last week?

I move back into the cat's house tomorrow for a few nights and cannot wait to find out what delights it has in store (the cat, not the house.)

This sort of thing really cramps a chap's pursuit of debauchery.