A little personal information.

My daughter is, of course, adorable. She is almost sickeningly cute (I loathe the word 'cute' but it seems the most appropriate)

During our many swimming trips, I have realised that she is more attractive to women than I could ever hope to be. She is also a great conversation opener.

Woman: "Awwwww - she's so cute. What's her name?"

First born: "My name's xxx. I've just turned 7 and I like drawing pictures. Would you like to see one?"

Woman: "Awwwww, I could eat her all up! She's so lovely!"

Me: "Yes, she is. Will you sleep with me?"

You see, the problem is the jump between the third and fourth lines. I suspect some important stuff needs to be in there, but I've been out of the dating game so long that I forget.

And to be honest, the last time I was traipsing that particular trail, I was 17 and things were slightly different. Having endured the attentions of the psychotic nuns at the local catholic school, I was convinced that sex was the number after five.

This presents a problem. Debauched and hedonistic behaviour surely requires the participation of more than one person.

I have another three or four months in which to find a solution.

I will keep you posted...