Tonight was an evening of great excitement. Following the physio I had a date. Not, alas, with the physio, but the first from a new internet dating agency I'd joined.
Sadly, it was not to be. The lady in question had suggested a pizza. I prefer a simple drink or similar on a first date in order to give either myself or my date an opportunity for an early escape if all is not going well. But she wanted pizza. So pizza it was.
If the waiter hadn't directed me, I wouldn't have recognised her. I suspect the photo she'd put on the site was, perhaps, a little out of date. By about 15 years and 50 pounds.
That said, we did get on like a house on fire and I began to think that perhaps I might simply make a new friend rather than anything else. Up until the she looked up from her pizza, stared me in the eye, and the following conversation ensued:
She: "Are you circumcised?"
Me: (splutter) "What?"
She: "Circumcised. Are you?"
Me: (still off balance) "Why on earth do you want to know that?"
She: "I only have sex with circumcised men. Better hygiene and once you've had one, you never look back..."
I stared at the slices of ham and pepperoni on my pizza. My appetite had vanished. She continued dreamily: "Its so much more pronounced..."
My silence continued. So she filled the space: "...so if we're going to go back to your place tonight, I wanted to check first. To avoid embarrassment later on."
Embarrassment LATER on? I felt sorry for the diners surrounding us who'd been privvy to this conversation.
She leaned forward and said in a low voice: "I like you. So are you?"
I dodged the question, muttered something about an early start in the morning and conversation moved on. As soon as I deemed it polite, I paid the bill and left. And now I'm back home, a little earlier than planned, but thankfully alone.
Another box ticked on the great questionnaire of life, I think.
