Constipated? Been unable to pay a satisfying visit to the porcelain throne for a few days?
Your answer is at hand!
Vists the (company I work for) staff canteen! Within 30 minutes of consuming one of their fine sandwiches your problems will be solved! And as a special bonus, any lost faith in the christian religion will be restored because as you grip the toilet seat with both hands you'll find yourself shouting out loud to Jesus, and praying that your lower instestine remains inside your body.
Why spend money on expensive medicines when the answer to your prayers can be found between two slices of stale bread and some rancid butter?
Next week: Weight-loss made easy!
