Ok, so I drank rather too much last night. I wasn't drinking alone. I had the very excellent Bix Beiderbecke to keep me company.
I had the presence of mind to set the alarm on my phone early on, and so was woken at 0430 by the phone cycling through all its ringtones, getting progressively louder until either turned off, or thrown at the wall. Yeah, thats going to be tricky to explain to the hardware guys at work:
"I need a new phone. Mine has, er, stopped working."
"Thats ok, we can send your's back to repair"
"Er..." (shakes a bag, and bits of shattered plastic drop folornly onto the table) "...I don't really think thats an option"
"!"
"It wasn't me! Really, it wasn't! It was, er, an elephant. Yeah! Stampeding! It needed the bathroom (believe me, you don't want to see what happens when an elephant doesn't make it to the bathroom) and stepped on my phone. Twice. Three times. Which is why its, er, er..."
(pause)
"So can I have a new phone?"
But why so early? Being amicable, I offered to give The Ex, The Boyfriend and First-born a lift to the airport (a poor excuse to get a final hug from First-born before she leaves for the land of pasta, but there you go.) So I blearily headed over to the House Of Oddness, drove them to the airport in the Car Of Oddness.
And when I got back, I found my car squatting in a "My tyres are flat. And they're new. Which means the alloys are probably bent from that accident a couple of weeks ago" kind of way.
So off it went to the garage where I'll adopt my usual way of getting it fixed. Basically, giving money to a mechanic until he either expires under the load of used 10 pound notes or gets on with the work.
I cheered myself with a large, steaming bacon sandwich. In about half an hour I'll hate myself for eating it.
How's your day?
