This is the last post on the topic of EuroDisney. In fact, the next time I utter the 'D' word, it'll be in relation to plans to take First-born to the Florida incarnation.
I've been trying to imagine the conversation that must have gone on at the House Of Mouse 20 years ago.
Suit1: "Guys, the Florida park is getting lots of European interest. I think we should consider building a new park over there"
Suit2: "Excellent idea. The only question is where?"
Suit3: "How about Britain? They love the whole US thing - God knows they keep watching the terrible films we churn out"
Suit4: "Nah, it rains all the time. How about Spain? Great weather over there, and thats where the Brits and Germans already spend their summers"
Suit5: "Forget that. Lets put it in France. After all, the French love us, don't they? Remember how they tried to solve the heating problems at McDonalds by setting fire to the restaurants? I'm sure they'd love an American cultural icon right next to their capital city..."
And so the decision was taken. Fast forward 15 years.
Suit1: "Its a disaster! The French hate us! They all prefer 'Asterix World' which is up the road. It rains ALL THE TIME and we had to do all the shows and signs in French, so no-one can work out whats going on! The staff are permanently on strike and worst of all, the only Tinkerbell we could find looks like a Hungarian shotputter."
Suit2: "Dammit! Who's stupid idea was it to put the park in France?"
Suit3: (cough)
Suit4: (shuffle)
Suit5: "Ok... it was me. But thats ok - you thought I was just another faceless executive, but no! I'm (insert generic TV presenter name here) and you're on Candid Camera!"
All: (embarrassed laughter)
Suit1: (sotto voice) "So... Do you think Fox are hiring?"
The problem with EuroDisney is typified by the Winnie The Pooh show, where Pooh speaks English, Tigger (or Tigre) speaks French and Eeyore sounds like a drunken French tramp. The net result is that nobody knows what is going on, except that a man in a furry orange suit has clearly had too much caffeine.
Next year, Florida.
