Haven't posted a photo for a while. Thought about one of a sleeping First-born taken just now because it sums up that after the disconcerting mental state of the last few days, all is now well in the world of Newly Single.
I didn't upload it because I have some sort of 'nauseatingly cute' fuse in my head that went pop just before I hit the button.
Anyhow, First-born has returned. No being squashed by a car. No airplane crashes. No being trampled by a herd of enraged badgers. So we ate strawberries, watched Toy Story 2 and read a 30 year-old Noddy book. Conversation following said book:
FB: "Why does Tubby Bear keep being spanked?"
Me: "Because he's a naughty bear"
FB: "So what is 'spanking'?"
Me: "Oh, its - er - something you get if you're naughty. Its a bad thing. People don't do it anymore."
FB: "No. Mummy just hides my Barbies if I'm naughty"
Me: "Really?"
FB: "Yes, she forgot to give them back before we got on the plane too"
Me: "Oh dear, shall I talk to her tomorrow?"
FB: "No, its ok. I've hidden her credit cards. That'll teach her to f**k with me."
Ok. She didn't say the last sentence. She didn't have to. The tone of voice said it all.
I'm going downstairs now to put all sharp implements in the kitchen somewhere safe.
