Ah Monday morning, and here I am struggling to find things to do rather than what I'm supposed to be doing. This includes tidying my desk, sending emails to friends and family, and finally hunting for the biscuit that I'm sure slipped down the back of the drawers last week. I'm a bit peckish, you see.
I also have a new pair of shoes. This, in itself, is not newsworthy. The interesting aspect is a warning sticker placed on the sole. It says:
"These shoes have been made of the highest quality leather. Leather is permeable and so these shoes are not suitable for excessive outdoor use."
Hello? These are SHOES for goodness sake. For wearing on feet. They are not the delicate and lacy things I might wear for a ballet lesson, nor are they humourous 'tiger feet' bedtime slippers that I might have owned as small child (and that my father doubtless has concealed in a loft ready to impress potential girlfriends: "Yes, he looks stylish now, but look what he wore when he was 5! Would you like to see the infamous 'paddling pool' video?")
These are SHOES! What will it be next: "Please don't take this umbrella out in the rain, it is not suitable for a damp environment", "These condoms have been made of the highest quality latex and so are not suitable for intercourse", "This beer has been made of the finest ingredients, and so will taste like urine and not get you drunk"
Oh wait, that would be Budweiser.
