The Builder was in today. Rectifying an act of breathtaking stupidity from his previous visit (ever seen a staircase fitted upside down? No, me neither, not until last week. Mr. Escher would have been proud.)
"Hello, mate," he said in that cheery way of workmen that is supposed to put one at one's ease but instead leaves one with the distinct impression that little, aside from tea drinking and biscuit eating is going to be accomplished.
And boy, do I have some biscuits for him.
"This 'ere is Kristen" he said, indicating a stunning girl who'd followed him in. "She's me niece from Australia" he added by way of explanation. "Learning the trade." The 'trade' presumably being distracting male customers from the horrors being inflicted on their domicile.
Whatever, his diversionary tactic worked and I didn't notice his abject failure to fix last weeks "oopsie" as he eloquently put it.
As he left he made a slightly offbeat observation: "I see yer using that washing machine, heh Kristen, this guy is always washing something"
I was at a loss for words, at least a loss for words to say to a man wielding a large hammer.
"Yeah," he continued, "Lucky if our's sees use in a fortnight. Heh."
Kristen and I exchanged a glance. She wrinkled her nose and followed her Uncle back to the van.
