Sunday, May 30, 2004

Tumbleweed Moments

Everyone has them. When you say something utterly crass, and just as the words leave your mouth, the whole room goes silent.

A conversation about dogs (although you'd be forgiven for wondering):

A: "Oh yes, we had Archie neutered just last year"
B: "Did you? Charlie has been a bit aggressive lately, and we thought we might have him done"
A: "Jolly good. Be careful though - Archie was frightfully nasty and aggressive for a few months after he was neutered"
Me: "I can't blame him - I'd be fucking aggressive if someone chopped my balls off"

This was a dinner party. I was the youngest by about 30 years. I'd also been at the beer. Everyone looked at me and then moved on to the topic of assylum seekers.

My daughter gets to read books during dull adult dinner parties. Why can't I?