Using the vending machine is like a voyage into the unknown.
Sure, the label might say "Coke" but what actually comes out could be anything ranging from Sprite to a dead rat. No, I'm not joking; that happened once. The shriek of the unlucky colleague who put his hand into the machine, expecting to find a chilled can of sugary liquid and instead grasping a dead rodent echoes around the building to this day.
I stick to what I can see; namely the time expired chocolate.
Jane has suggested I keep a list of what I consume over the course of a day (breakfast, lunch, evening meal and snacks.)
I wonder what she's going to make of:
1 x Dairy milk chocolate bar
1 x Crunchie bar
1 x Small bottle of coke
1 x Cheese and ham toasted sandwich
2 x Pints of beer (Stella Artois)
1 x Caramel chocolate bar
1 x Can of Lilt
3 x Pints of beer (Kronenberg)
Gallons of water
...and possbly a pizza. Not sure yet...
That does not strike me as a good daily diet when written out in black and white. Maybe I should add some green stuff into it in order to avoid being fixed by her gimlet gaze on Thursday.
Er. "Sprouts!" "Cabbage!" "Peas!"
No, it isn't working, is it?
