This is something that actually happened a few days ago. It crops up here because I've realised that some padding is needed. There is quite an icky picture further down this page, and anyone contemplating eating should be forewarned and given opportunity to decide for themselves if they want to say 'Oh, gross!' out loud.
So, we're all in the pub, enjoying a beer and talking about cars. As guys do. One of our number has brought his new girlfriend along, mainly to prove that she exists. His claims regarding her beauty and niceness were so outrageous, we assumed it was the beer talking. However, for once he's been telling the truth. The lady is stunning, fun and has led a fascinating life. It seems she was once a professional gymnast.
Naturally, all the guys are paying her lots of attention. Which is when I made my faux pas.
Me: "So can you do all those things they do on the bars?"
She: "Some of them - my speciality was floor work though"
Me: "What, those odd contortions?"
She: (laughs) "Yes, 'those odd contortions'"
Me: "Wow - so can you do that thing where you can put your head flat against your foot?"
She: "Oh, thats easy. Yes. If there was more space in the pub I'd demonstrate. I can actually get my foot behind my head"
Me: "Gosh. Can you get both feet behind your head then?"
(I have to emphasise - I had no idea what I was saying. It seems the other guys did, since the sniggering began around the time she said 'floor work')
(silence)
(the grin on my friend's face spreads at around the same speed as the blush spreads on my cheeks)
He: "Yeah, she can..."
