So tell me. What is it that is put into Diet Coke? The stuff with lemon (for the idle amongst us who can't be naffed to slice it ourselves, or who aren't allowed sharp objects. Like me.)
It has just dissolved a cup from the water machine in a very impressive fashion. Shame about that confidential document I was reading. I hope the reviewer attributes the brown stain to a beverage spillage rather than my alarm at the document's contents. I can see the review board now:
Faceless Exec 1: "So, item 19 on the agenda. The review of this week's vending machine usage. Any comments?"
Faceless Exec 2: "None here"
Faceless Exec 3: "Nothing from me"
Faceless Exec 4: "Nor I. But I think IT have shat all over the report"
Faceless Exec 1: "Really? What were their comments?"
Faceless Exec 4: "No, you don't understand. IT have shat all over the report"
Faceless Exec 1: "Figuratively?"
Faceless Exec 4: "Literally"
Faceless Exec 1: "Shit"
Faceless Exec 4: "Exactly"
Faceless Exec 1: "No, I was moving onto item 20. Excessive toilet paper consumption..."
I kid you not. I've read the minutes to these meetings.
And no, I didn't cancel the trip. I understand that The Staff have already prepared my bedchamber. It would be a shame to disappoint them. That, and I can on the webcam that the main beer tent has been erected.
(oh, and all those who thought this post was going to be about prescription medication - shame on you! Come back in a week's time...)
